in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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