You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
