windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
