I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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