i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
