return my video game
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
