Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
