She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
