he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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