So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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