oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
