And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
