Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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