): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
