We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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