she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
