That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The power of my boobs compel you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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