He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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