Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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