Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
