I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
