Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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