Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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