He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think i have herpe
just one?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
