My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Still dying that you shit outside
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
