You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
