I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
