The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
