i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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