so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
