As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize