She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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