Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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