I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
