Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
