Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
