This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
