I love how my cats smell like pot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
