It's Friday. Sex?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
