Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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