I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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