dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The beer is more important than you right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
