I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you inspire me to be a worse person
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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