I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
