you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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