I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
