I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My bed smells like the plague
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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