worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
