it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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