Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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