You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
