First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
