About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize