she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
