1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
