Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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