you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
