Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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