Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
