True but thats because hes a fetus.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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