Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
