WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found puke in my bra..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
