god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
