Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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