I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
