Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
