was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
where are my eyebrows?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
