South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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