guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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